Relationship Checklist

“There was a checklist of questions to ask yourself whether you were in an abusive relationship. When I found myself answering yes to almost everything, a crack appeared in the brainwashing and manipulation that had filled my head.”
David, 27.

Domestic violence can take many forms. To assess your relationship, answer the following questions.

Does your partner ...

Humiliate you, call you names or make fun of you in a way that is designed to hurt you?
Threaten to ‘out’ you to your family or work?
Prevent you from attending gay/lesbian or other events or venues?
Have sudden outbursts of anger?
Act over-protective and become jealous for no reason?
Make it difficult, or prevent you, from seeing friends or family?
Control your money against your will?
Threaten you with violence or hit, kick or throw things at you?
Physically or emotionally hurt your children?
Hurt your pets?
Force you to engage in sexual acts that you aren’t comfortable with?

Or do you ...
Change your behaviour or your appearance so your partner doesn’t get
Avoid talking about money or other topics?
Feel scared, anxious or like you are ‘walking on eggshells’?
Cut yourself off from your friends or family?


If you tick any of the boxes in the checklist you may be experiencing domestic violence.

You can go through this Relationship Checklist with a friend or family member’s relationship in mind. Does their partner behave in any of the ways listed above? If so they may be experiencing domestic violence.

All types of domestic violence are wrong and some are illegal. This website contains information for people in same sex relationships who are or may be experiencing domestic violence. It also contains sections on recovering from domestic violence and on providing support to a friend or family member.